Buses, Dumplins and a Special "Gift"

Happy Monday!

Hope your week has started off right! Mine has already been interesting....

Todd is doing his "Red Ribbon Week" (Drug-Free) presentations a few days this week, so he left about 5:00 a.m this morning. He had notified the bus barn that Zachary would be riding this week....but somehow the bus driver didn't get the message. After waiting 35 minutes in 45 degree wind, he came back in. He said, "What are we gonna do?" I said, "What choice do we have?" So I got dressed and got my keys. His eyes were a little wide as he asked if I could drive, I guess since I still kinda shuffle around the house. Of course, I would've never done it if I thought it would be too dangerous, and I am feeling pretty good today. So, we took it slow, avoided as many bumps as possible, probably ticked off people behind us....but we made it. (next time you're behind a pokie, it might be a situation like mine....so be nice! LOL)

Then Tina D brought me chicken 'n dumplin's!!! Woo hoo!!! YUMMY All you good cooks out there are causing 2 problems - 1. Todd and Zachary are getting spoiled to good cookin' and...2. We're gonna look like dumplin's if we keep eating like this! LOL But, seriously, we really appreciate the meals. Everything has been just delicious!

Later Teresa is coming to be my "Angel of the Day" and taking me to an appointment. Tomorrow Whitney is my AOTD and we go to PT. I was too sick last week, so we're trying again this week.

Going back in time.....

Friday I got a BIG laugh when I opened a box from Todd's ever-so-thoughtful brother, Chris. We have a family 'tradition' of sharing the joy of a certain gift....you just never know when and where it will show up. It's been, at the least, a Christmas, birthday, and housewarming gift. Well, it showed up at my house as a "Get Well" gift. Chris, I just can't thank you enough!

Saturday, Daddy and Odessa came and brought lunch. Zachary was gone all day to Area UIL - they made 10th (which was the first time the band has made the top 10) but didn't make finals. After coming home from band trips at midnight or later several times this month, he didn't seem too upset. Todd left to run errands and we all took a nap! Odessa helped me get some laundry done so it wouldn't turn into Mount Washmore!

Yesterday I was able to go to church and it was wonderful to see my church family, including my Deaf Ministry family! ((Thanks to Val for helping interpret on some of the songs and giving Troy a break!)) Of course, it was a fabulous service and Pastor Littlefield encouraged us all with "God Wants to Bless YOU!" I am so blessed by God and very thankful for each blessing. If you are reading this....you are one of my blessings!

After church, Todd had a gift card so we went out to eat. By the time we got home, I couldn't wait to put on my pj's and hit my recliner. I always take a Sunday afternoon nap....but this was more than a nap! I was worn out, but it was a "good" worn out.

Now we're back to today...and it's lunchtime. I do believe the chicken 'n dumplin's are calling my name!

Hope you all have a BLESSED week!

"This I recall to my mind; therefore have I hope: It is through the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," saith my soul, "Therefore will I hope in Him." The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. Lamentations 3:21 - 25

Better

Judging from the emails and texts I've been getting, many of you are wondering how things are going.....

Thursday was some better but FOOD was still not a good word. I didn't make it to the PT visit, was barely able to get a shower and get back in my recliner. Ruth was my angel for the day. She fixed me some mashed potatoes which was the only thing that even half-way sounded good. Next time we'll be more prepared...just didn't know what to expect. I hate....make that HATE... feeling helpless and sick. I don't know what I would do without the physical and spiritual angels that have been with me on this journey!!!

Today seemed marvelous compared to the last two. I got up wanting breakfast and was able to fix my own meals today! Tina B was my angel of the day - she did my floors and did a marvelous job, of course. She had a hard time getting them done cuz I kept wanting to visit. I sure enjoyed the company and my floors are all nice and shiny!

The last two days I felt I was going under the waves, but I was reminded, again, of this verse:

Isaiah 43:2: When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee. When thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Looking forward to a wonderful weekend and a couple of weeks of feeling good!

Ugghhh

Had a pretty rough day today. The 3rd day "they" say is usually the worst...evidently "they" are right. It's been a day of feeling like I've been run over by a train, monster headache and popping anti-puke pills (as my sister called them). Fortunately I had Louise and Valerie sitting with me today making sure I made it through the day. Couldn't have made it without them! Never got sick, but even the thought of chocolate wasn't good.....so that should tell you how I felt!

Sure hope tomorrow is better...

DING! DING! ROUND 1

Round 1 is done! Cancer 0, Norma 1 Five more rounds to go.


Before my chemo, Teresa and I picked up my meds, then went over to the American Cancer Society where I met a sweet many-year survivor. She loaded me up on lots more info.


If you give to or do things for charities, I recommend the ACS. They have provided me with so much wonderful info. They also have pillows that local organizations make that are so helpful...I have 2. Someone took the time to make them, and I am so appreciative. You, like me, may not know that breast cancer patients on Medicaid are not provided a prosthesis. How sad. There's many things that folks may not be able to get because of no insurance or "it's not covered." I am blessed to have great insurance. Anyway, if you feel like there isn't anything you can do for me personally....do something for the Komen Foundation or the ACS....that will be "paying it forward"! =o)


Then we were off to Oncology. Todd met us there, so Teresa returned to her regularly scheduled life. Since this was my first day in the ring, I had to have teaching....can you say 'information overload'? I know it is all very important and they must do it, that's why I take a friend or family member to be my brain for that info. Today it was my darling husband.....whose brain is on overload too. But we also got about 2 trees worth of printed info about it all, so whatever we missed is on those papers, I'm sure.


These chemo meds cause all kinds of side effects, one being mouth sores and another being fingernail peeling or coming off. They've discovered if that area is very cold, the vessels constrict so the meds don't stay there.....so when they give me the one that messes with my nails...I put my hands in V E R Y cold "boxing" gloves...and the other one I get to choose ice chips or a Popsicle. And the winner is....a Cherry Blue Bell Popsicle! (ice chips? bleh!)


While I was there, a commercial came on and there was Teresa's husband, Rob, talking about PAPA MURPHY'S Take 'n Bake Pizza! If you live in Tyler, and you haven't had PAPA MURPHY'S pizza.....you are missing out!!! Personally I recommend the Herb Mediterranean Chicken. Y U M!! Teresa and Rob have been so kind to provide our Church youth and other depts with pizzas for fundraisers, and especially to our family recently. They have been a blessing to us....help us be a blessing to them and go by the PAPA MURPHY'S on Troup Hwy and you'll be blessed by some G O O D pizza!! Tell 'em I sent ya! http://www.papamurphys.com/


Thanks to giant leaps in anti-nausea meds, right now I am feeling tired and like a pin cushion, but fine. I plan to pop them babies at the slightest hint of nausea! Tomorrow, I go get poked AGAIN...this time, a shot that tells my body to make more white blood cells, then off to the hospital for an echocardiogram. Wednesday, I don't plan on doing nuttin! Thursday is my first Physical Therapy appt. to work on this lovely nerve pain in my left arm...if I feel like going after all this.


One thing that they have practically beat into our brains was the importance of avoiding germs. Since this is cold/flu season (yes, we've all had flu shots, but it's no guarantee I won't get it) they are emphasizing how easy it will be for me to catch anything. The chemo drugs diminish my white blood cell count (WBC) which fight off germs. The shot I get is to build them back up, but I am still at an increased chance catching anything.

So PLEASE PLEASE share your love....but no germs please. I even have Germ-X at my front door now. I'm not a germaphobe, and they say they aren't trying to make me into one.....but I DO NOT want to get sick! If you have the sniffles and was scheduled to come see me, just send me an email instead. Just make sure no viruses are attached! LOLOL


I guess that's all for now.....thank you for your prayers today....I felt them. Y

"And He said, My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

Stage Fright

Well, tomorrow is the day.....I'm kinda getting stage fright, so I thank you in advance for your prayers. I know I will be carried by the prayers of my family and friends, and held in the hand of my Creator.

Today in the Parade magazine there were several really good articles relating to facing cancer. I thought I would pass this along:

http://www.parade.com/features/inspiration/index.html

The article "6 Ways You Can Help" was really good, too.

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

Who I Am

A friend sent me this:

What Cancer Cannot Do

*

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal eternal Life

It cannot conquer the Spirit

- Author Unknown

*

This poem is also in a book of stories of hope and encouragement for folks facing cancer that was given to me by my Aunt Brenda. The one that specifically spoke to me today was the one under "It cannot invade the Soul."

*

In this story a lady is visiting her dad who has become blind because of a disease, but still knows her.....because of what she looks like? No...because of her soul.

*

Before I read this story, I was thinking about how the storms of life sometimes try to define us. Let me say this from the very beginning - I refuse to let this cancer define WHO I am.

*

Who am I? I am Norma Suzanne Wright Lawson, Child of God, Wife to Todd, Mom to Zachary; Daughter to O.B. and Eudine, Other daughter to Odessa, Sister to Sheron, Mike and Niel; Sister-in-law to Ron, Ruth, Linda, Jennifer, Chris, Lisa, Bo, LeeAnna and Jacob; Aunt to Carissa, Jayme, James, Kimberly, Bradley and Drew......need I go on? Okay, I will say one more...Friend to Benny since we were babies, Darla since we were 4, and Teresa since 7th grade...and a gazillion of you since then.

*

Yes, I also am an interpreter and a Deaf Ministry Director.....but that's what I DO. I have longish permed brown-gray hair (for now), wear glasses, dress conservatively....but that's what I LOOK LIKE. Breast cancer has invaded my body, but so has some arthritis.. I just found out.....but this is what I HAVE. I also have a car, a house, a dishwasher and some chocolate....but it doesn't define WHO I am. (Although the chocolate comes close)

*

Who am I? I don't know exactly, but I can only hope that when anyone sees any good in me, that they know it's Jesus. I'm human and I fail miserably, but I am thankful for His grace and mercy that covers me. Charles Spurgeon said, "Doubt not His grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that He loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness."

*

While I know this cancer has and will make physical, spiritual, and emotional changes in me.....I simply refuse to let it become the main event on the center stage of my life. It know its effects won't ever go away....it has and will have influence on my life and decisions, but it will not sit the director's chair of my life. It will be banished to the shadows.

*

As you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and pink ribbon stuff is E V E R Y W H E R E! Of course, no one is more "aware" than me right now! I've supported and appreciate those of you who support the Komen Foundation, and I hope someday there is a cure. Until then, I support the many organizations that make it possible for women to have tests done who might not be able to otherwise due to finances. I encourage ALL women of ALL ages to do monthly manual exams, and have yearly physicals with your doctor.

*

Soon October will turn into November and we will put away our pink ribbon pins and start thinking about turkey and dressing and punkin pie...and all the wonderful blessings God has poured out upon us. And that's okay. Because that's what it's all about anyway....just living everyday to show His glory.

*

Victor Frankl who survived the Holocaust said, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." And that is the way I choose to see this cancer. This is an unfortunate challenge that has come my way, but I will overcome and move beyond. I will not let this cancer destroy me, and I refuse to let it define me as a victim! So when you look at me or think of me...don't think of me as Norma With Cancer....cuz that is not who I am. I'm just

k Norma k

*

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up, You are still with me!

Psalm 139:13 - 18 NLT

GREAT NEWS!

Yesterday I had a CT and bone scan. This checked out all my innerds, plus my skeleton for any suspicious cancerous activity. EVERYTHING WAS CLEAR!!!! This means the cancer has not metastisized to any other place. {{{snoopy dance!!!!}}}

Yes, I still have to have the chemo because of the cancer being in my lymphatic system. The chemo cocktail will chase down any rogue cancer cells looking for a place to hide and divide. If all goes well at the dr Thursday, then I will start chemo Monday the 20th. It will be a 3 hour treatment, 6 treatments every three weeks, which will equal 18 weeks. So every 3 weeks, I get a 3 hour nap. lol Somewhere around February I will be finished.

Since 6 out of 16 lymph nodes were malignant, they want me to do radiation. I don't have to make that decision right now.....so I'm not. I have a lot to consider and am taking time to do lots of research. (and not on Wikipedia either! hee hee)

After the CT scan and while we were waiting for the 'tracer' to make its way around my skeleton for the bone scan, Sheron, Teresa and I went to Shlotskees. (ok...YOU spell it!) That sammich was yummy and we had so much fun laughing....about something....but I can't tell you what it was, but we were all crying. We all needed it!

After all the xray fun, I went to get my tubes out. That wasn't exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world, but it sure is nice now not to have them.

Because of the removal of the lymph nodes in my left arm, I am experiencing quite a bit of nerve pain so I will be getting some physical therapy...hopefully in the very near future. I'm hoping technology has increased to the point, they give you something to put you to sleep, you climb in this machine and it exercises everything for you while you nap. Then you wake up and get a nice relaxing massage! yeah, right.

Everyday I feel stronger and not having to take many Rx pain meds at all. I'm not happy about missing seeing my son perform in the marching band (they won Best in Class and Overall Grand Champion in the marching contest this past week, and 4th place in the one the week before) UIL is coming up and I sooooooo want to go......we'll see.

So I'm not too happy about all I am and will be missing, but soon this will all be in my rear view mirror. After all, life is not a destination....it's a journey. I must enjoy the moments while they are here.

One more thing before I close.....thank you again for all the emails and glob....I mean, BLOG comments! Also, the cards I receive in the snail mail....today I believe the count was 6. wow! It brings me such joy to open and read each encouraging message.

1. We have a new mailing address - if you have our Bama address...it's wrong. Email me and I will send you the correct one.

2. Which brings me to....our email address has changed too! it is tnzlawson@YAHOO.COM (not sbcglobal.net)

I hope you all have a blessed and fabulous week!

Z NORMA Z

Blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8

Life this week

Greetings!

I will answer the most asked question first - I'm doing great. Getting stronger every day. Was able to take a shower AND wash my hair all by myself today.....HUGE accomplishment for me! Go me! lol

Able to get around much better. I don't wobble so much anymore. For a while I felt like a Weeble...ya know, they wobble but they don't fall down. Thank the Lord I didn't fall! Oh yeah...and I found out sneezing is something I'm trying to avoid at all costs! So if you have a cold....keep it!

Thanks to wonderful church and work family, we have been eating well! Todd and Zachary may not want to go back to my cooking! lol Your notes of encouragement are so meaningful. "Blessed is the woman who has many friends!" II Norma 4:7 =o)

From Thursday to Tuesday were pretty dark days and when it wasn't dark, it was very foggy. Vicoden will do that. Tuesday it all kinda hit me hard that this, once again, wasn't a bad dream. I cried it out...then the rest of the day was good.

Wednesday I woke up feeling pretty good. Had planned to do a few things around the house....then the doctor called. They removed 16 lymph nodes and the pathology report showed 6 of them were malignant. This is a little higher number than I was expecting. The probability of having to have radiation goes up because of that....but we don't know for sure. So they ordered a CT scan for Tuesday. This is normal procedure. Not sure when I will get the report, but I'm expecting it will be all good news.

So....Monday I go to the oncologist to see what's on the chemo menu and when it all starts. I know I won't have a treatment that day, but it is possible that I will start this week.

Tuesday I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 am for a CT scan to determine if the cancer spread to any other part of my body. This is a looong test...lasting from 5 to 7 hours they say. I'm packing a lunch! After that fun, I go for another followup dr visit, and get these drain tubes out! I'm ready for that to happen...I feel like a puppet.

Thursday, I have *hopefully* the last followup visit with the surgeon and hopefully he will release me to the care of these other doctors.

So......I said all that to let you know this would be a really good week to pray for my strength. Tuesday is especially gonna be a tiring day for me. I've got my sis and my BFF Teresa hauling me around that day....I think it's too big a job for just one person! lol

I know there are more details that many of you might like to know, but what I am comfortable sharing right now is what I post on this blog. Anything else, just please don't ask......me or my family members. This is an extremely difficult time for me and my family, and this type of cancer is of quite a private nature.

I know each of you care for me and ask out of concern.....but here is the truth and what is most important - THE TUMOR AND MALIGNANT LYMPH NODES ARE GONE. The surgical process in which it happened is not important except to me, my husband, and my doctors who made the best possible choices based on my needs. I am experiencing some pain and slight complications from the surgery, but I'm not going into detail. I'm gonna be fine, it just might take a year or two before things are back to "normal".

Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings, but I do want to keep some things to myself. Maybe later I can talk about it more....but right now.....I don't wanna...and neither does my husband.

Okay...on a brighter note.....

Here are some pics from some recent events:

My coworkers gave me a "Bye For Now" lunch from Posado's. YUM!!!

Valerie helped me clean out the old fridge in the garage we almost tossed a couple months ago. So glad we didn't!

Carissa, Taylor and Emily decorated my back porch ...and the dog... with sidewalk chalk. Sydney was styling with that hot pink stripe down her side compliments of Emily. Sorry didn't get a pic of that!!!

Carissa brought me a D E L I C I O U S double or triple little chocolate cake. Sorry, I was quite selfish with it.

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL week! This is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Home Sweet Recliner

Hello ya'll! I greet you from the confines of my recliner. I am presently out of the fog of pain meds and feeling fairly well. The last few days have been pretty rough. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and notes of encouragement. Those of you who know me well know this sitting around doing nothing is NOT my thing. The hard part is doing enough moving around to keep muscles from freezing up but not too much to hurt myself or cause my caretakers to yell at me. LOL I really am trying...

I am feeling better every day, although it's not near quick enough for me. I believe myself to have a pretty high pain tolerance, but this little episode has taken me to the brink. I'm sorry I haven't been able to post much on here or take many phone calls or visitors, but give me a few weeks and I should be back to "normal"....whatever that is.

I go to the oncologist next week to find out my chemo treatment plan.

Your cards, emails, posts, voicemails...it all means so very much to me. My wonderful church and work families have been so kind to feed us since all I could manage right now is peanut butter sandwiches.

My husband is just simply the best. I know this has been a tremendous burden on him emotionally. But he is my rock. It is truly a blessing to have married a true man of God.

Zachary is doing well. Got a great report card, so hopefully this bump in the road hasn't knocked him too far off kilter. He's a great kid and has been a trooper through it all.

And what would I do without my brothers and sister? My Big Sis..she was with me the night after my surgery....scratching what itched, rubbing what hurt, wiping my tears, chasing down nurses for my pain pills...and so many other things that I probably don't even know what I was doing. Now she has been with me this week being my arms and my entertainment. I got to get a shower and wash my hair today and I feel human again.

Ya know, when you go through something like this you lose dignity. My sister and sister-in-law have been so good to me through all this - letting me do what I can for myself, but being there when I can't. My brothers are so supportive and love their baby sister. There's just not a price you can put on love.

So here I sit...and sleep...and sit....and sleep.....in my comfy recliner. Thanking God for the abundance of blessings I have.

Blessed be the Lord,day after day He carries us along. He's our Savior, our God, oh yes! Psalm 68:19 The Message

Back Home

It is Saturday evening and I have Norma back at home. Brief rundown since last post:

• Due to being in so much pain the Dr.had Norma stay in hospital Friday night also. Sister-in-law Ruth stayed with her since I snore (so I am told) and that would have been a disturbance.
  
• Norma's pain was more manageable and so she slept much better this second night.
  
• Had some nausea and vomitting in the AM after breakfast, probably due to pain meds.
  
• Dr. came by early afternoon. Said everything was looking good and gave discharge.
  
• Norma had lunch, pain meds and a shower, then was ready to go home.
  I had all the stuff packed and we were waiting on nurse to come remove IV port when nausea hit her again. I know the housekeeping staff wasn't happy to find the pink pan in the bathroom we left behind. The nurse had to give her a dose of different anti-nausea med and we had to wait about an hour before she was better and we were ready to go again.
  
• Finally left around 4:00. Gingerly drive home trying to avoid the potholes and dead squirrels as much as possible.
  
• Mike and Ruth met us at the house and helped get Norma and all her things into the house.
  
• For the past few hours Norma has had some soup, a small dose of vicodin and some sleep in the recliner.
  
• We are going to take Sunday for just the three of us to spend some time together and let her recuperate a little more. Monday afternoon she should be up for a phone call if you would like to call. Maybe a few visitors but please call first.
  

Thanks again for your continued care, concern, prayer and encouragement!!

It is done

Just an update on surgery and the aftermath. Norma will resume with her elegant and poingnant entries in a few days when she is up and about. Briefly, here is what happened:

• Went into surgery at 11:15.
• Went to recovery around 3:00.
• Doctors told me all went well with surgery.
• Moved to regular room around 4:30.
• Norma was in lots of pain. Morphine injections every hour.
• Hooked her up to Morphine pump for self administered dose every 1o minutes. This was more effective.
• Her sister Sheron stayed the night with her. Very restless and painful.
• This AM had liquid breakfast (yummy!) Started on oral pain meds (vicodin - also yummy!)
• Pain management improved with vicodin.
• Ate a good lunch. Salisbury steak - just like Grandma used to microwave.
• Dr. came in to consult. Said all is looking well and she is doing as expected. Due to the pain and some small trouble with bladder he said to stay overnight. Continue on vicodin every 4 hours and discontinue morphine. Told her to get up and get moving around as soon and as much as possible.
• Around 3:00 got up and took shower. Then walked around room for several minutes.
• Now it is nearly 4:00 Friday. Norma is sitting up in a chair visiting with Daddy and Odessa. She is much improved from this morning. Should get to go home tomorrow (Saturday)

Will post again later if anything changes. Thanks to everyone for your continued support, prayer, encouragement! This means so much to Norma!!