You may be thinking "Huh?" Okay...that's Kermit's version of "Time flies when you're having fun!" =o)
Before you even start reading this....it's LONG. It took me a couple of days to write it, because this isn't my normal inspirational type of blog. It comes from much deeper in my heart. One reason is because it started off with me thinking about Zachary's birthday coming up....and he will probably wish I hadn't spoke of him like this here, but all I have to say is: "Son, you'll understand when you have kids!"
Here goes:
Today I was typing an email to my friend and boss, Tina D, and was lamenting the fact that my BABY is about to turn FIFTEEN. Just a few days ago he was 6! It's not so much that I feel old, but just a rough reality bite on the rapid passage of time. It was then that it hit me....time is passing too fast in one area in my life, and seemingly, not fast enough in another.
I was then reminded of an email that Michelle C sent me of Rick Warren (author of "Purpose Driven Life") speaking about "the purpose of life". Full text here. In it he said, "Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness."
His wife was diagnosed with cancer and to this he said, "I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or....... you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is "my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others."
I really like what he said about the railroad tracks. I can't think of a single time in my life when everything was good or everything was bad. There's always been a little of both...sometimes one more than the other. Yeah, this cancer is bad. But it could be worse! I still have soooo much to be thankful for (see 'Spaghetti Legs and Thankfulness' post).
So, tying this together....I began to think about how fast time is passing when I look at Zachary and try to remember him as a little boy. Oh I have tons of memories....but it seems they are all in a blur. (I need to watch some video of him!) This whole 'turning-15' thing is just really hitting me hard. I want time to S L O W D O W N!!
Then I think of this cancer mess I'm mucking through and I want time to SPEED UP! Come on Feb 10th, let's get this over with! Let's get through this radiation!
But the truth is....I can't control either. All I can do is live each day and make the most of it. I love the quote that says, "Life isn't measured in the number of breaths you take, but the number of moments that take your breath away." and also "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain."
Not trying to be morbid, but the fact is...some of you will attend my funeral, and I will attend the funeral of some of you. What do we want the dash on our tombstone to represent? My goal is to breathe my last breath at peace with God....and myself. However, I fail often, with God and myself. I'm so thankful for His grace!! I am also thankful for the forgiveness of family and friends when I fail them. I hope I have made right any wrong I have every done to anyone.
What do we want the preacher to say over us? Ya know, really, we preach our own funeral.....ever go to a funeral where what was being said didn't match the person you knew? I don't want that to happen to me. I know the things I want to be true of me, one being that I lived life to its fullest.
I'll be the first to admit - I struggle with this! I tend to think "when this happens, then I'll...." But we do not have the promise of tomorrow....not even of the rest of the day. How well do I know the difference a day makes!
Someone sent me this: Realizing the value of TIME:
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage laborer with kids to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLI-SECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
The question is....what are we doing with the time we have? Am I waiting for something to happen? Am I thinking everything will be better later? What am I missing now while I'm waiting? Am I holding on to the past whether it be mistakes, offenses or even memories?
A smart person said, "DON'T POSTPONE JOY". I agree. Why wait? Enjoy that moment NOW, because you may never get it again. Maybe I made a mistake, but I need to learn from it. I can't change it, so I'll just not do it again. Maybe someone did me wrong, I need to get over it. If I hold on to it then I am allowing that person or that situation to control me. It takes a bigger person to let it go. Maybe good things have happened in the past, and I am waiting around for it to happen again. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. But what am I missing while I'm waiting?
Some might wonder why I wanna have a party after chemo...why not wait till all my treatment is over? Well, the truth is, I've celebrated after every treatment - not a party, but a celebration in my own way. Those who know me well, know I don't need much excuse to celebrate! Why postpone joy?
Ya know, He came to give me life....but not just life...life MORE ABUNDANTLY! This is it, folks, one life, that's all. Why just live when you can live abundantly! To live abundantly, I must ask myself the question often, "Is what I'm doing right now helping me reach the goals I've set for myself?" If not, I've got to have the guts to change my course. I can't sit and wait for tomorrow hoping things will be better. It may be worse....and I've wasted that moment.
I can't change the past, but I can change my future....by changing my today. So today... I choose JOY. I choose to LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN AND LOVE MUCH. I choose to dance in the rain. I choose to forgive and let go. I choose life more abundantly.
I know this has been long and rambling, and really....this was more for me than anyone. As our music director says, "I know me better than anyone." I know the things I struggle with and if you read this, now you do too. This was a sermon to myself, but I know I'm not the only person who deals with some of these issues. If you do, I hope something I said will help you too.
My wise mother always told us, "If you learn from other people's mistakes, you don't have to learn so many on your own." Oh my, how I have learned that to be true!! My sweet Daddy always admonished me to "not be in such a hurry to grow up." But I was... and sometimes I still get in that same hurry for time to pass. I'm trying, Momma and Daddy!
"...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10b
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Aftermath Updates (Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun)
Aftermath updates:
Wednesday - went and got my Nuelasta shot, ran one errand and came back to my recliner hasty posty. Started feeling bad pretty quick this time. Oh well, maybe that means I'll be over it quicker.
Thursday - felt really yucky all day. Not much appetite. Louise was my angel for today!
Friday - still pretty yucky, but maybe just a tad better. Hoping for a brighter tomorrow!
One thing that is kinda funny about all this is, I have weird cravings...kinda like pregnancy cravings. Last time, you may remember, I craved a mustard hamburger. Tonight it was chicken fried rice. (Todd always checks with me before he comes home to see if I have any cravings...so he hasn't had to head out in the middle of the night...yet.) Once I had enough soy sauce on it, I could actually taste it and it was good!
Chocolate shakes have become a major chemo week menu item for me, but surprisingly enough, not because of the chocolate. It's because of the cold. Sometimes cold is all I can force myself to eat, and hey...if ya gotta eat, and it's gotta be cold...why not a chocolate shake?
Saturday - SFSG. (so far so good!) Feeling much better, but still very weak. We just chilled around the house and had some much-needed family time. Z won all three games of Uno Spin.
Sunday - wasn't able to make it to Sunday morning service, but did make it Sunday night! Too weak to interpret, though. I'm so thankful to Troy and Val for taking up my slack. I'll be back in the saddle soon!
Other than Thursday, it wasn't too bad this time. ONLY ONE MORE! Isn't that great? (YES, the answer is YES!) I almost can't wait for it to be here so I can get it over with! My dr said I have done great through this, and I can only give the credit to my Maker.
I am *hoping* to have a PARTY after my last chemo which will be Tuesday Feb 10th. I don't know if we can pull this off, but my thoughts are to have it about 5:30ish at Rose Rudman Park where Jolene says there is a bell to ring. (The Cancer Center has one, and I will definitely be ringing it, but I don't think they want all my plethora of family and friends there! LOL)
Hopefully this will work with you to get off work and run by before heading home. It would be come and go, and I'm thinking a chocolate cake would be perfect....Michelle the cake decorating queen?? All you who read this will be invited, so save the date! (If you can't make this one, I'll probably have another one after 30 rounds of radiation! Hey, any reason to party and have chocolate cake!)
Seriously, I couldn't have made it without my family and friends by my side. There have been some pretty dark days, and you have called/emailed/texted/came by with loving encouragement. I want you to celebrate with me and tell you again how MUCH I love my family and friends!
Okay....I have to go now because I am crying just thinking about this! Ya'll just have a fabulously wonderful week!
Wednesday - went and got my Nuelasta shot, ran one errand and came back to my recliner hasty posty. Started feeling bad pretty quick this time. Oh well, maybe that means I'll be over it quicker.
Thursday - felt really yucky all day. Not much appetite. Louise was my angel for today!
Friday - still pretty yucky, but maybe just a tad better. Hoping for a brighter tomorrow!
One thing that is kinda funny about all this is, I have weird cravings...kinda like pregnancy cravings. Last time, you may remember, I craved a mustard hamburger. Tonight it was chicken fried rice. (Todd always checks with me before he comes home to see if I have any cravings...so he hasn't had to head out in the middle of the night...yet.) Once I had enough soy sauce on it, I could actually taste it and it was good!
Chocolate shakes have become a major chemo week menu item for me, but surprisingly enough, not because of the chocolate. It's because of the cold. Sometimes cold is all I can force myself to eat, and hey...if ya gotta eat, and it's gotta be cold...why not a chocolate shake?
Saturday - SFSG. (so far so good!) Feeling much better, but still very weak. We just chilled around the house and had some much-needed family time. Z won all three games of Uno Spin.
Sunday - wasn't able to make it to Sunday morning service, but did make it Sunday night! Too weak to interpret, though. I'm so thankful to Troy and Val for taking up my slack. I'll be back in the saddle soon!
Other than Thursday, it wasn't too bad this time. ONLY ONE MORE! Isn't that great? (YES, the answer is YES!) I almost can't wait for it to be here so I can get it over with! My dr said I have done great through this, and I can only give the credit to my Maker.
I am *hoping* to have a PARTY after my last chemo which will be Tuesday Feb 10th. I don't know if we can pull this off, but my thoughts are to have it about 5:30ish at Rose Rudman Park where Jolene says there is a bell to ring. (The Cancer Center has one, and I will definitely be ringing it, but I don't think they want all my plethora of family and friends there! LOL)
Hopefully this will work with you to get off work and run by before heading home. It would be come and go, and I'm thinking a chocolate cake would be perfect....Michelle the cake decorating queen?? All you who read this will be invited, so save the date! (If you can't make this one, I'll probably have another one after 30 rounds of radiation! Hey, any reason to party and have chocolate cake!)
Seriously, I couldn't have made it without my family and friends by my side. There have been some pretty dark days, and you have called/emailed/texted/came by with loving encouragement. I want you to celebrate with me and tell you again how MUCH I love my family and friends!
Okay....I have to go now because I am crying just thinking about this! Ya'll just have a fabulously wonderful week!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ding! Ding! Round 5!
Round 5 is done! Norma 5 Cancer 0 ONLY ONE MORE TO GO!
Here's my look for #5, hot pink and black:
All went well! (My hand is still swollen, but this morning it was a little better.) Afterwards we made our trek to Posado's, then ran a few errands. Now it's almost 10:00 and I am exhausted! Heading to the recliner very soon!
A few weeks ago I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. Based on the information I was given that I fall into the category that radiation does the most good, and the fact that I have a lot of life I want to live including seeing my grandchildren and great grands....I have decided to take the radiation. This is still a little hard for me to talk about right now.....
Stay tuned for the aftermath posts!
Here's my look for #5, hot pink and black:
Teresa, my best buddy for...lessee...27 years...was my angel for the day. She and Rob (Papa Murphy's!) took me to chemo. Rob took our pic:
All went well! (My hand is still swollen, but this morning it was a little better.) Afterwards we made our trek to Posado's, then ran a few errands. Now it's almost 10:00 and I am exhausted! Heading to the recliner very soon!
A few weeks ago I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. Based on the information I was given that I fall into the category that radiation does the most good, and the fact that I have a lot of life I want to live including seeing my grandchildren and great grands....I have decided to take the radiation. This is still a little hard for me to talk about right now.....
Stay tuned for the aftermath posts!
My Father's Love
Last night...actually it was in today's early morning hours... I was having trouble sleeping, I felt I should read from my "Praying Through Cancer" book. I read a devotional that really spoke to my heart. The lady writing started with Psalm 108:4 "For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
After I read her story about trusting our Heavenly Father, I was struck with this thought: If my child were going through cancer, there would be NO doubt of my love for him as I would be as his side continually. Then it hit me - Why would my Heavenly Father be any different? He loves my child more than I do. If I, being an earthly mother, love and care for my child...how much MORE does our Heavenly Father love him....and me? I am His child.
We simply cannot measure the love of our Father. It is higher than the heavens, and His faithfulness reaches to the skies. The love of God, so rich and pure, how measureless and strong. It shall forever more endure the saints and angels song.
I have never doubted His love for me, but sometimes my ol' human nature takes over. I wonder if He knows where I am and what dilemma I am in at the moment. In that early morning hour I felt Him speak to my heart...."You are my child, and I love you." Tears flooded my eyes and peace flooded my heart.
I laid the book on my table and curled up in my Father's arms.....and slept.
"For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 108:4
After I read her story about trusting our Heavenly Father, I was struck with this thought: If my child were going through cancer, there would be NO doubt of my love for him as I would be as his side continually. Then it hit me - Why would my Heavenly Father be any different? He loves my child more than I do. If I, being an earthly mother, love and care for my child...how much MORE does our Heavenly Father love him....and me? I am His child.
We simply cannot measure the love of our Father. It is higher than the heavens, and His faithfulness reaches to the skies. The love of God, so rich and pure, how measureless and strong. It shall forever more endure the saints and angels song.
I have never doubted His love for me, but sometimes my ol' human nature takes over. I wonder if He knows where I am and what dilemma I am in at the moment. In that early morning hour I felt Him speak to my heart...."You are my child, and I love you." Tears flooded my eyes and peace flooded my heart.
I laid the book on my table and curled up in my Father's arms.....and slept.
"For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 108:4
Monday, January 19, 2009
Spaghetti Legs and Thankfulness
Happy [insert day you are reading this here]!
Went to the oncologist today for my before-chemo checkup. I did bloodwork Friday so I didn't have to do it today. For the FIRST time, my RBC's are ABOVE the minimum! Yeah....only .01 but hey! I'll take it! My HGB (hemoglobin, stored iron) was still a little low, but he wasn't concerned. I'm on GO for chemo #5 tomorrow.
I had the bloodwork done Friday, because I am experiencing weakness in my legs. I have this during my post-chemo days, but this is more than that. He was concerned my bloodwork might be off...but everything is good! So it seems that the Taxotere (chemo drug) is causing this. I have chemo tomorrow, so I don't know how this is going to effect me. I may have to pull out the wheelchair again....though I truly hope not!!!!
The only other problem I'm dealing with is my left hand is swollen. We are hoping and praying it is NOT lymphadema. There is a possibility it is from an irritated tendon in my hand, since it happened after PT. I still have to get one of those pressure gloves to go with my oh-so-fashionable-AND-comfortable (NOT!) pressure arm sleeve. uuuuggghhh
I still deal with the ever-present fatigue, but I was so thankful I was able to attend both services yesterday AND I interpreted a couple of songs, and the message last night! God gets the glory!
I have heard some people say they were thankful for their cancer. Honestly, at least right now, I can't say I'm thankful for the cancer itself. To me, it's "Legion" and I want it gone! [and as far as we know it IS gone!]
But, I was reading my new 2009 Guideposts Devotional (Thanks Carol!) and a lady was relating her experience about being "thankful in all things". I spent some time thinking about all this, and I think maybe "thankfulness" is kinda like "forgiveness". Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time event, maybe thankfulness is too sometimes. So perhaps I will view this differently later, but right now I am NOT thankful for this cancer that has invaded my body and turned my world upside down. (hang with me here!)
HOWEVER, I am thankful IN this journey. I've made a list! (no particular order and certainly not an exhaustive list!)
- I'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ who has been my Comforter, my Prince of Peace, my Jehovah Jireh, my Healer, my Counselor and my favorite...my everlasting Father!
- I'm thankful for my precious husband who has been my ROCK!
- I'm thankful for a fabulous son who has also been a huge help to me!
- I'm thankful for my loving sister-in-law who has been down this road, and been there for me numerous times.
- I'm thankful for my sister who took time out of her life to be with me after surgery! Couldn't have done it without her!
- I'm thankful for my brothers who have been there for their little sister!
- I'm thankful for a loving and PRAYING Daddy and my sweet 'other mother' Odessa. I know my Daddy has a redline phone to Heaven and Odessa has been such a help to me!
- I'm thankful for loving and caring in-laws who call/email to check on me!
- I'm thankful for SO MANY family and friends who have been with me on this journey! The calls/emails/cards are such a blessing! Many of you lift my name up daily....I am so humbled by this.
- I'm thankful for a wonderful church family!
- I'm thankful for the restaurant gift cards we've received!
- I'm thankful for the good job I have at Tyler Junior College and the wonderful people I work with!
- I'm thankful for the extra 30 days of Sick Time I was approved for from TJC's Sick Pool!
- I'm thankful I bought Long Term Disability!
- I'm thankful for machines that caught this fairly early!
- I'm thankful for doctors and their expertise in knowing what look for and how to fix it!
- I'm thankful for really good insurance!
- I'm thankful for anti-nausea meds that work!
- I'm thankful for chemo meds and radiation that kill rogue cancer cells!
- I'm thankful for my God-given whirlpool tub that has helped me through some rough times!
- I'm thankful the IRS allows you to deduct medical expenses (even if it's 7.5% ABOVE your AGI!)
- I'm thankful I didn't have to have this PICC line until after my 3rd treatment!
- I'm thankful I get it out soon after the last treatment!
- I'm thankful I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes!
- I'm thankful my fingernails and toenails haven't come off!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten mouth sores!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten other side effects that I won't mention here!
- I'm thankful I have had quite a few really good days, and even some fairly good days!
- I'm thankful since $$ is tight that gas isn't $4.00 a gallon anymore!
- I'm thankful for my recliner that is pretty comfy!
- I'm thankful we found some sterile wound cover that I'm not allergic to!
- I'm thankful for our new-to-us home that is located in a much quieter area, and the interior is much lighter and conducive to healing of the body and mind!
- I'm thankful my next door neighbor and a friend at church are nurses!
- I'm thankful for Angel Food Ministries so I don't have to food shop so much!
- I'm thankful for my earthly angels who take care of me during chemo weeks!
...and I am thankful for the opportunity to draw closer to my Creator. This has invaded my life, but I want to show His glory. When I am weak, He is strong. His grace is sufficient for me. Christ is the "Big C" in my life...not cancer...it's a "little c". This, too, shall pass!
I could just go on and on!! But it's now 11:30 pm and I need to hit the recliner. Be blessed on this the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!
And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:10a
Went to the oncologist today for my before-chemo checkup. I did bloodwork Friday so I didn't have to do it today. For the FIRST time, my RBC's are ABOVE the minimum! Yeah....only .01 but hey! I'll take it! My HGB (hemoglobin, stored iron) was still a little low, but he wasn't concerned. I'm on GO for chemo #5 tomorrow.
I had the bloodwork done Friday, because I am experiencing weakness in my legs. I have this during my post-chemo days, but this is more than that. He was concerned my bloodwork might be off...but everything is good! So it seems that the Taxotere (chemo drug) is causing this. I have chemo tomorrow, so I don't know how this is going to effect me. I may have to pull out the wheelchair again....though I truly hope not!!!!
The only other problem I'm dealing with is my left hand is swollen. We are hoping and praying it is NOT lymphadema. There is a possibility it is from an irritated tendon in my hand, since it happened after PT. I still have to get one of those pressure gloves to go with my oh-so-fashionable-AND-comfortable (NOT!) pressure arm sleeve. uuuuggghhh
I still deal with the ever-present fatigue, but I was so thankful I was able to attend both services yesterday AND I interpreted a couple of songs, and the message last night! God gets the glory!
***Inspiration Alert***
Yesterday, our associate pastor, Bro. Sammy Draper, was praying and said something that really spoke to my heart. In essence, he said, "Lord, we are thankful IN all things, even if we may not be thankful FOR all things."I have heard some people say they were thankful for their cancer. Honestly, at least right now, I can't say I'm thankful for the cancer itself. To me, it's "Legion" and I want it gone! [and as far as we know it IS gone!]
But, I was reading my new 2009 Guideposts Devotional (Thanks Carol!) and a lady was relating her experience about being "thankful in all things". I spent some time thinking about all this, and I think maybe "thankfulness" is kinda like "forgiveness". Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time event, maybe thankfulness is too sometimes. So perhaps I will view this differently later, but right now I am NOT thankful for this cancer that has invaded my body and turned my world upside down. (hang with me here!)
HOWEVER, I am thankful IN this journey. I've made a list! (no particular order and certainly not an exhaustive list!)
- I'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ who has been my Comforter, my Prince of Peace, my Jehovah Jireh, my Healer, my Counselor and my favorite...my everlasting Father!
- I'm thankful for my precious husband who has been my ROCK!
- I'm thankful for a fabulous son who has also been a huge help to me!
- I'm thankful for my loving sister-in-law who has been down this road, and been there for me numerous times.
- I'm thankful for my sister who took time out of her life to be with me after surgery! Couldn't have done it without her!
- I'm thankful for my brothers who have been there for their little sister!
- I'm thankful for a loving and PRAYING Daddy and my sweet 'other mother' Odessa. I know my Daddy has a redline phone to Heaven and Odessa has been such a help to me!
- I'm thankful for loving and caring in-laws who call/email to check on me!
- I'm thankful for SO MANY family and friends who have been with me on this journey! The calls/emails/cards are such a blessing! Many of you lift my name up daily....I am so humbled by this.
- I'm thankful for a wonderful church family!
- I'm thankful for the restaurant gift cards we've received!
- I'm thankful for the good job I have at Tyler Junior College and the wonderful people I work with!
- I'm thankful for the extra 30 days of Sick Time I was approved for from TJC's Sick Pool!
- I'm thankful I bought Long Term Disability!
- I'm thankful for machines that caught this fairly early!
- I'm thankful for doctors and their expertise in knowing what look for and how to fix it!
- I'm thankful for really good insurance!
- I'm thankful for anti-nausea meds that work!
- I'm thankful for chemo meds and radiation that kill rogue cancer cells!
- I'm thankful for my God-given whirlpool tub that has helped me through some rough times!
- I'm thankful the IRS allows you to deduct medical expenses (even if it's 7.5% ABOVE your AGI!)
- I'm thankful I didn't have to have this PICC line until after my 3rd treatment!
- I'm thankful I get it out soon after the last treatment!
- I'm thankful I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes!
- I'm thankful my fingernails and toenails haven't come off!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten mouth sores!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten other side effects that I won't mention here!
- I'm thankful I have had quite a few really good days, and even some fairly good days!
- I'm thankful since $$ is tight that gas isn't $4.00 a gallon anymore!
- I'm thankful for my recliner that is pretty comfy!
- I'm thankful we found some sterile wound cover that I'm not allergic to!
- I'm thankful for our new-to-us home that is located in a much quieter area, and the interior is much lighter and conducive to healing of the body and mind!
- I'm thankful my next door neighbor and a friend at church are nurses!
- I'm thankful for Angel Food Ministries so I don't have to food shop so much!
- I'm thankful for my earthly angels who take care of me during chemo weeks!
...and I am thankful for the opportunity to draw closer to my Creator. This has invaded my life, but I want to show His glory. When I am weak, He is strong. His grace is sufficient for me. Christ is the "Big C" in my life...not cancer...it's a "little c". This, too, shall pass!
I could just go on and on!! But it's now 11:30 pm and I need to hit the recliner. Be blessed on this the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!
And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:10a
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Catchin' Up
Wow! I can hardly believe it's almost the weekend and I haven't even updated ya'll! So sorry!
Lessee....I left you at Saturday night. Sunday I was able to attend both services AND I interpreted! Sunday morning Troy was attending to Vickie in her Dallas hospital room (please pray for Vickie and not-yet-born Mary Allison) so Valerie terped all the preliminaries (and did great, I might add) and I terped the message. I had prayed for strength from above because I felt I was already starting out in the red both physically and mentally. When Pastor finished preaching (a really great message!!) he mentioned he was surprised he had preached an hour...which means I interpreted an hour! There is NO WAY I could have done that without God.
Sunday night Val and I did the all the music and preliminaries, and let Troy just terp the preaching. (he needed a break, too) After this busy day, I was exhausted by the time we got home!
Monday I had to go get my blood checked again. FINALLY! It was 2.3! They wanted it to be between 2 and 3. I thought "YAY! No more shots!" ....wrong. The dr said it had to be good for two days in a row. UGH. Had to get another shot. On a funner note, Teresa took me to Jalapeno Tree for a belated birthday meal. (we always treat each other to a b'day meal....how many years have we done this??) Of course they sang and brought us ice cream! YUM We visited for about 2 hours! It was wonderful.
Tuesday I had to go back again and it was 2.9. woo hoo! No shot! (I will have to continue the Coumadin pills probably until I get the PICC line out after chemo.) Then they did a dressing change on my PICC line and it looks like we've found a dressing tape that I'm not allergic to!
Wednesday I had a PT appointment. I was pretty sore from the fall and a little from interpreting. And by this time I have had to go somewhere everyday for 9 days in a row. Plus, I hadn't been feeling as good this week as I did last week. That trip about did me in. So I went straight home, changed into my jammies, took some Tylenol and hit the recliner.
Which brings us to today...Thursday. I didn't go anywhere today! I slept as late as I could and only did whatever I felt like doing. I am feeling a little better this evening.
Next week is chemo so I have to get everything done before Tuesday! My arm still turns blue occasionally so I guess the clots aren't gone yet. I don't know when or if they will do another ultrasound. Guess I'll find out Monday at my pre-chemo dr's appt.
Really, in all, it's been a good week! Zachary is out of school Friday and they both are out Monday, so we are gonna catch up on some family time! Ya'll have a great Friday and weekend!
Lessee....I left you at Saturday night. Sunday I was able to attend both services AND I interpreted! Sunday morning Troy was attending to Vickie in her Dallas hospital room (please pray for Vickie and not-yet-born Mary Allison) so Valerie terped all the preliminaries (and did great, I might add) and I terped the message. I had prayed for strength from above because I felt I was already starting out in the red both physically and mentally. When Pastor finished preaching (a really great message!!) he mentioned he was surprised he had preached an hour...which means I interpreted an hour! There is NO WAY I could have done that without God.
Sunday night Val and I did the all the music and preliminaries, and let Troy just terp the preaching. (he needed a break, too) After this busy day, I was exhausted by the time we got home!
Monday I had to go get my blood checked again. FINALLY! It was 2.3! They wanted it to be between 2 and 3. I thought "YAY! No more shots!" ....wrong. The dr said it had to be good for two days in a row. UGH. Had to get another shot. On a funner note, Teresa took me to Jalapeno Tree for a belated birthday meal. (we always treat each other to a b'day meal....how many years have we done this??) Of course they sang and brought us ice cream! YUM We visited for about 2 hours! It was wonderful.
Tuesday I had to go back again and it was 2.9. woo hoo! No shot! (I will have to continue the Coumadin pills probably until I get the PICC line out after chemo.) Then they did a dressing change on my PICC line and it looks like we've found a dressing tape that I'm not allergic to!
Wednesday I had a PT appointment. I was pretty sore from the fall and a little from interpreting. And by this time I have had to go somewhere everyday for 9 days in a row. Plus, I hadn't been feeling as good this week as I did last week. That trip about did me in. So I went straight home, changed into my jammies, took some Tylenol and hit the recliner.
Which brings us to today...Thursday. I didn't go anywhere today! I slept as late as I could and only did whatever I felt like doing. I am feeling a little better this evening.
Next week is chemo so I have to get everything done before Tuesday! My arm still turns blue occasionally so I guess the clots aren't gone yet. I don't know when or if they will do another ultrasound. Guess I'll find out Monday at my pre-chemo dr's appt.
Really, in all, it's been a good week! Zachary is out of school Friday and they both are out Monday, so we are gonna catch up on some family time! Ya'll have a great Friday and weekend!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
SAFE! ELLLLL..VIS!
This has been the best week!!! I have felt soooo good and I am loving it! Most of December I was sick and generally feeling yucky.
So...wassup with "SAFE!" you ask? Well, too bad there's no video, because it would be hilarious. Todd was vacuuming the living room which has hardwood floors, and I was across the room dusting. I heard the vacuum make a wierd noise and I turned around to tell him (since he was plugged into his mp3 and Third Day). I guess I tripped over my own feet, because the next thing I know I am SLIDING across the floor, arms in front like I am sliding into homebase.
I slide head first right into my recliner, next to where Todd is vacuuming obliviously. All I can do is lie there hoping I haven't broken anything judging by the pain I feel in various parts. He turns off the vacuum and asks, "What are you doing?" I can't even talk, so I just hold up my hand, to which he replies, "Are you looking for something?" By this time, my knees and elbows are hurting from the scrapes!! He said he thought I was diving under the chair after a mouse. (as if!) I have a skinned knee and elbow, but that's it other than whatever decides to hurt in the morning! It wasn't so funny then, but it's pretty funny now!
Later today I went to Courtney's personal shower and had a blast! A few months ago, I was unable to attend her wedding shower cuz I was sick, so I was thrilled I felt like going today. Of course, I behaved myself throughout the whole shower....even when Elvis showed up! =o)
So...wassup with "SAFE!" you ask? Well, too bad there's no video, because it would be hilarious. Todd was vacuuming the living room which has hardwood floors, and I was across the room dusting. I heard the vacuum make a wierd noise and I turned around to tell him (since he was plugged into his mp3 and Third Day). I guess I tripped over my own feet, because the next thing I know I am SLIDING across the floor, arms in front like I am sliding into homebase.
I slide head first right into my recliner, next to where Todd is vacuuming obliviously. All I can do is lie there hoping I haven't broken anything judging by the pain I feel in various parts. He turns off the vacuum and asks, "What are you doing?" I can't even talk, so I just hold up my hand, to which he replies, "Are you looking for something?" By this time, my knees and elbows are hurting from the scrapes!! He said he thought I was diving under the chair after a mouse. (as if!) I have a skinned knee and elbow, but that's it other than whatever decides to hurt in the morning! It wasn't so funny then, but it's pretty funny now!
Later today I went to Courtney's personal shower and had a blast! A few months ago, I was unable to attend her wedding shower cuz I was sick, so I was thrilled I felt like going today. Of course, I behaved myself throughout the whole shower....even when Elvis showed up! =o)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Smurfette Update and Balloon Bouquet
Today I woke up feeling better than I have in probably a month! I even got some of the house cleaned.
Then I went to have my blood checked today and it's still too thick, so more shots, more Coumadin. Fun fun. Still working to find a sterile dressing I'm not allergic to....
On a brighter note, I received this beautiful balloon bouquet from my friend Jim "Mill Dude the Clown":
It could not have come on a better day! It was last Saturday during my chemo week, and I was feeling terrible. That really brightened my day! It is a blue watering can, full of flowers and even a little green garden snake. I just love the little lady bug sitting on the handle! Thanks Mill Dude! =o)
Then I went to have my blood checked today and it's still too thick, so more shots, more Coumadin. Fun fun. Still working to find a sterile dressing I'm not allergic to....
On a brighter note, I received this beautiful balloon bouquet from my friend Jim "Mill Dude the Clown":
It could not have come on a better day! It was last Saturday during my chemo week, and I was feeling terrible. That really brightened my day! It is a blue watering can, full of flowers and even a little green garden snake. I just love the little lady bug sitting on the handle! Thanks Mill Dude! =o)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Blue, Blue, my....ARM is blue?
Howdy!
Well, it's been an eventful day! As you know, I had a PICC line put in 2 weeks ago and all was well until Sunday morning when I woke up and noticed my arm was blue. It hurt some and I just figured I'd slept on it wrong...either that or I was turning into a Smurf! The color returned and it seemed fine unless I kept it in a certain position, so I just was careful and decided I would tell the nurses today when I went in to get the PICC line flushed. Well! Imagine my surprise when they immediately called the doctor and he arranged for me to have an ultrasound to see if I had a blood clot!
Long story short....I do. I think the word was "clotting" and what I saw on the screen was more than one, and it was around the PICC line site. So I had to get a shot today, and I will get one the next 2 days, and they put me on rat poision - Coumadin. Prayerfully, the shots will work, the clots will not move and will dissolve, no more will appear and I can keep the PICC line until my chemo is done. One other really irritating (literally!) thing is I have a tape allergy and even though they are using the kind for sensitive skin, it is still driving me nuts!
I left the house about 10 this morning thinking I would be back home in a few hours, but it was 6:00 before I finally drug in the house. Todd had supper cooked, we ate and I hit the recliner hasty-posty! He has been such a wonderful husband and caregiver!
Sometimes the spouse gets forgotten in all the hullabaloo surrounding the patient, so I ask you to remember him in your prayers also. When we said our vows almost 20 years ago, we hoped the "in sickness" wouldn't happen. A lot has happened in 20 years, way more good than bad, and I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband by my side whatever life brings. While my life as I knew it pretty much came to a screeching halt, his has continued on as before with the added burden of my health issues. He never complains and doesn't know I'm typing this, but I ask you to pray for God to strengthen him.
Well, it's been an eventful day! As you know, I had a PICC line put in 2 weeks ago and all was well until Sunday morning when I woke up and noticed my arm was blue. It hurt some and I just figured I'd slept on it wrong...either that or I was turning into a Smurf! The color returned and it seemed fine unless I kept it in a certain position, so I just was careful and decided I would tell the nurses today when I went in to get the PICC line flushed. Well! Imagine my surprise when they immediately called the doctor and he arranged for me to have an ultrasound to see if I had a blood clot!
Long story short....I do. I think the word was "clotting" and what I saw on the screen was more than one, and it was around the PICC line site. So I had to get a shot today, and I will get one the next 2 days, and they put me on rat poision - Coumadin. Prayerfully, the shots will work, the clots will not move and will dissolve, no more will appear and I can keep the PICC line until my chemo is done. One other really irritating (literally!) thing is I have a tape allergy and even though they are using the kind for sensitive skin, it is still driving me nuts!
I left the house about 10 this morning thinking I would be back home in a few hours, but it was 6:00 before I finally drug in the house. Todd had supper cooked, we ate and I hit the recliner hasty-posty! He has been such a wonderful husband and caregiver!
Sometimes the spouse gets forgotten in all the hullabaloo surrounding the patient, so I ask you to remember him in your prayers also. When we said our vows almost 20 years ago, we hoped the "in sickness" wouldn't happen. A lot has happened in 20 years, way more good than bad, and I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband by my side whatever life brings. While my life as I knew it pretty much came to a screeching halt, his has continued on as before with the added burden of my health issues. He never complains and doesn't know I'm typing this, but I ask you to pray for God to strengthen him.
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