Spaghetti Legs and Thankfulness

Happy [insert day you are reading this here]!

Went to the oncologist today for my before-chemo checkup. I did bloodwork Friday so I didn't have to do it today. For the FIRST time, my RBC's are ABOVE the minimum! Yeah....only .01 but hey! I'll take it! My HGB (hemoglobin, stored iron) was still a little low, but he wasn't concerned. I'm on GO for chemo #5 tomorrow.

I had the bloodwork done Friday, because I am experiencing weakness in my legs. I have this during my post-chemo days, but this is more than that. He was concerned my bloodwork might be off...but everything is good! So it seems that the Taxotere (chemo drug) is causing this. I have chemo tomorrow, so I don't know how this is going to effect me. I may have to pull out the wheelchair again....though I truly hope not!!!!

The only other problem I'm dealing with is my left hand is swollen. We are hoping and praying it is NOT lymphadema. There is a possibility it is from an irritated tendon in my hand, since it happened after PT. I still have to get one of those pressure gloves to go with my oh-so-fashionable-AND-comfortable (NOT!) pressure arm sleeve. uuuuggghhh

I still deal with the ever-present fatigue, but I was so thankful I was able to attend both services yesterday AND I interpreted a couple of songs, and the message last night! God gets the glory!

***Inspiration Alert***

Yesterday, our associate pastor, Bro. Sammy Draper, was praying and said something that really spoke to my heart. In essence, he said, "Lord, we are thankful IN all things, even if we may not be thankful FOR all things."

I have heard some people say they were thankful for their cancer. Honestly, at least right now, I can't say I'm thankful for the cancer itself. To me, it's "Legion" and I want it gone! [and as far as we know it IS gone!]

But, I was reading my new 2009 Guideposts Devotional (Thanks Carol!) and a lady was relating her experience about being "thankful in all things". I spent some time thinking about all this, and I think maybe "thankfulness" is kinda like "forgiveness". Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time event, maybe thankfulness is too sometimes. So perhaps I will view this differently later, but right now I am NOT thankful for this cancer that has invaded my body and turned my world upside down. (hang with me here!)

HOWEVER, I am thankful IN this journey. I've made a list! (no particular order and certainly not an exhaustive list!)

- I'm thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ who has been my Comforter, my Prince of Peace, my Jehovah Jireh, my Healer, my Counselor and my favorite...my everlasting Father!
- I'm thankful for my precious husband who has been my ROCK!
- I'm thankful for a fabulous son who has also been a huge help to me!
- I'm thankful for my loving sister-in-law who has been down this road, and been there for me numerous times.
- I'm thankful for my sister who took time out of her life to be with me after surgery! Couldn't have done it without her!
- I'm thankful for my brothers who have been there for their little sister!
- I'm thankful for a loving and PRAYING Daddy and my sweet 'other mother' Odessa. I know my Daddy has a redline phone to Heaven and Odessa has been such a help to me!
- I'm thankful for loving and caring in-laws who call/email to check on me!
- I'm thankful for SO MANY family and friends who have been with me on this journey! The calls/emails/cards are such a blessing! Many of you lift my name up daily....I am so humbled by this.
- I'm thankful for a wonderful church family!
- I'm thankful for the restaurant gift cards we've received!
- I'm thankful for the good job I have at Tyler Junior College and the wonderful people I work with!
- I'm thankful for the extra 30 days of Sick Time I was approved for from TJC's Sick Pool!
- I'm thankful I bought Long Term Disability!
- I'm thankful for machines that caught this fairly early!
- I'm thankful for doctors and their expertise in knowing what look for and how to fix it!
- I'm thankful for really good insurance!
- I'm thankful for anti-nausea meds that work!
- I'm thankful for chemo meds and radiation that kill rogue cancer cells!
- I'm thankful for my God-given whirlpool tub that has helped me through some rough times!
- I'm thankful the IRS allows you to deduct medical expenses (even if it's 7.5% ABOVE your AGI!)
- I'm thankful I didn't have to have this PICC line until after my 3rd treatment!
- I'm thankful I get it out soon after the last treatment!
- I'm thankful I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes!
- I'm thankful my fingernails and toenails haven't come off!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten mouth sores!
- I'm thankful I haven't gotten other side effects that I won't mention here!
- I'm thankful I have had quite a few really good days, and even some fairly good days!
- I'm thankful since $$ is tight that gas isn't $4.00 a gallon anymore!
- I'm thankful for my recliner that is pretty comfy!
- I'm thankful we found some sterile wound cover that I'm not allergic to!
- I'm thankful for our new-to-us home that is located in a much quieter area, and the interior is much lighter and conducive to healing of the body and mind!
- I'm thankful my next door neighbor and a friend at church are nurses!
- I'm thankful for Angel Food Ministries so I don't have to food shop so much!
- I'm thankful for my earthly angels who take care of me during chemo weeks!

...and I am thankful for the opportunity to draw closer to my Creator. This has invaded my life, but I want to show His glory. When I am weak, He is strong. His grace is sufficient for me. Christ is the "Big C" in my life...not cancer...it's a "little c". This, too, shall pass!

I could just go on and on!! But it's now 11:30 pm and I need to hit the recliner. Be blessed on this the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!

And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:10a